Creexuls, a monster >:3 wrote:

I imagine this is what any MGS4 fan is like.

So today I was at my girlfriend's house, and we finally decide to have sex for the first time.

Wewere gonna do it on the couch in the living room, but at first she'sall nervous and says she wants to undress herself in the bathroom whileI undress out here. So I'm like ok whatever, that's fine CAUSE I'MGETTING FUCKING LAID!

So she goes in the bathroom, and I rip myclothes off, and stand there waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And I'mlike when the hell is she gonna come out? So I started getting nervous,like maybe she would change her mind, or maybe she was actually a dudeor something.

The longer it took, the more nervous I got. Whatwould I say to her when she came out of the bathroom? How would Iapproach her? Eventually I got so nervous that I couldn't hold it inanymore. I took a shit right there on the carpet.

I thought OHFUCK OH FUCK what am I gonna do? So I kinda kick it off to the side bythe bookcase and hope she won't notice it. She finally comes out of thebathroom, and I was sitting down on the couch all trying to look cool.But she instantly smells the poop and looks around and sees it andshe's like "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" So I try to play it offlike the cool guy I am, and I say "What do you think it is, baby?" andI make a face like ;D

She kicks me out and I didn't get laid.

I am now home alone playing MGS4 on my PS3.